Why Liberals Hate Christmas!

By John W. Lillpop

According to liberal dogma, Christmas is malicious folly fostered by right-wing capitalists strictly for profit and, must, therefore, be made illegal because:

The real messiah was born 1961 years after Christ in a mud hut somewhere in a Kenyan village a few thousand miles outside of Honolulu;

Christians cannot produce a valid birth certificate for Jesus Christ; therefore, He is not, has never been, and never will be, eligible to serve as president or messiah;

Turning water into wine is nothing compared to Barack Obama’s ability to turn paper (money) into precious metal (silver dime);

Biblical accounts concerning the birth of Jesus are clearly flawed because there were not so many as three wise men in all of the Middle East back in those days, and continuing to this day;

Christmas trees are bad for the environment, are a serious violation of separation of Church and state, and piss off both Muslims and Jews;

Stories about Joseph and Mary are offensive because bisexual, transgender, and gay couples are not given equal billing;

Singing Christmas carols in public is not protected free speech because none of the founding fathers were exposed to Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, or any other of the violent anti-Muslim lyrics so popular these days;

Believers in traditional Christmas fairy tales are generally  gap-toothed, Bible thumping red necks who are silly enough to believe that a baby Jew was born to a virgin just to save the world;

Children should be protected from Christmas nonsense like Santa Claus and his elves, whereas teaching the young about Barack Obama and his tyranny is an essential part of a quality education

There you go: Liberal insanity at it best at Christmas!