Satire By John W. Lillpop
While nearly everyone has weighed in with speculation as to the likely party affiliation of Jesus, not much has been written about Santa Clause.
Would the jolly old man be a Democrat or a Republican?
Consider Santa’s Democrat tendencies:
* Is a multilingual globalist
* Exploits children to enhance his public image and retain power
* Works just one night a year
* Hangs around with and employs fairies
* Illegally crosses U.S. borders every December 24th
Then, consider Santa’s Republican tendencies:
* Is a fat, old white guy who probably drinks too much and hates change
* Conspires with big business once a year to rip-off millions of average Americans
* Considers himself “compassionate” although he pays his elves far below minimum wage and no benefits
* Lives in a foreign land (North Pole) to avoid paying U.S. taxes
* Values the bottom line over the environment—think about all those reindeer droppings
Fact is, Santa seems split fairly evenly between Democrat and Republican. In that sense, the old boy reflects America almost perfectly!
While nearly everyone has weighed in with speculation as to the likely party affiliation of Jesus, not much has been written about Santa Clause.
Would the jolly old man be a Democrat or a Republican?
Consider Santa’s Democrat tendencies:
* Is a multilingual globalist
* Exploits children to enhance his public image and retain power
* Works just one night a year
* Hangs around with and employs fairies
* Illegally crosses U.S. borders every December 24th
Then, consider Santa’s Republican tendencies:
* Is a fat, old white guy who probably drinks too much and hates change
* Conspires with big business once a year to rip-off millions of average Americans
* Considers himself “compassionate” although he pays his elves far below minimum wage and no benefits
* Lives in a foreign land (North Pole) to avoid paying U.S. taxes
* Values the bottom line over the environment—think about all those reindeer droppings
Fact is, Santa seems split fairly evenly between Democrat and Republican. In that sense, the old boy reflects America almost perfectly!
