Satire by John W. Lillpop
President Obama has finally responded to the fiscal crisis confronting America by offering concrete, verifiable actions to cut costs and stem the growth of big government. In the words of the White House team, the president has “bitten the bullet” in proposing actions which will put America’s financial house in order and preserve our cherished heritage and tradition for generations to follow.
Overall, Obama’s plans will cut more than $5 trillion dollars from the deficit while reinforcing this nation’s commitments to peace and equal rights for all.
The president’s blueprint for a deficit-neutral federal government includes the following big-ticket items:
1. Do not invade or otherwise engage Iran or North Korea in war
2. Eliminate expenses related to Defense of Marriage Act
3. Do not secure border with Mexico or enforce immigration laws to remove illegal aliens
4. Hire 16,000 lower-level IRS agents to enforce ObamaCare
5. End the Bush war in Iraq (Do not ask about Afghanistan or Libya!)
According to White House insiders, these steps alone will account for over three trillion dollars in savings over the next twelve years.
The remaining two trillion dollars will be achieved by a well- structured plan to redistribute wealth from under taxed millionaires and billionaires millions to poor people of color who neither work nor pay taxes, but all of whom require housing, education, food, health care, pensions and other government entitlements.
One footnote to the President’s plan is noteworthy: It reads: This manifesto is subject to the election of progressives to the White House and Congress over the next two decades. Null and void if any conservative wrongfully elected to the presidency.
For this wisdom and purity of thought, America owes a deep debt of gratitude to President Obama for his historic abandonment of partisan ideology in favor of doing what is best for all Americans!
