What If Illegal Aliens Were Deported?
Satire, By John W. Lillpop
Small thinkers like Barack Obama, and nearly all Democrats continue to perpetuate the outrageous myth that America cannot deport upwards of 38 million illegal aliens.
To which sane patriots immediately demand: Why the Hades not?
After all, each and every one of the interlopers came here one at a time; let us send them home the same way!
To facilitate that process, the list below provides a partial rendering of the goodies that would come our way if deportations started in earnest this afternoon:
*Emergency rooms would be used to treat medical emergencies, instead of being day care centers for freeloading foreign parasites;
*California would again be a blue state. Perhaps, in time, the Golden State might even be a safe haven for flying the American flag and other "jingoistic" excesses;
*Leaf blowers and Se Hablo Espanol signs would go the way of analog televisions and pay phones;
*Food like nachos, tacos, and burritos would be imported treats, rather than being hawked on every street corner by non-English speaking hawkers;
*Obesity would decline sharply as sedentary Americans would be forced to mow their own lawns, clean their own homes, and wash their own cars;
*San Francisco's population would be reduced to a few thousand gay activists, a mentally and morally retarded Board of Supervisors, and a mayor with a promising future in gay porn, but absolutely no future in politics or law;
*America's inmate population would plunge 30 percent, forcing federal, state, and local authorities to close hundreds of prisons and jails, saving taxpayers hundreds of billions each year;
*Welcome to America! would replace subversive "Press 1 for English" recorded messages;
*Demand for bilingual teachers would decline to the same level as for typewriter and VCR repair technicians;
*Unemployed and unemployable ACLU attorneys would be forced to flip burgers and scoop fries at McDonald's just to survive. Justice at last!;
*The Catholic Church would revert to being a "sanctuary pew" for gay priests, pedophiles in training, and poor white trailer trash too hooked on cigarettes and booze to be Mormons;
*Fast food restaurants would no longer exist, forcing Americans to feast on tofu and celery, thereby putting hundreds of cardiac surgeons out of work;
*Instead of a huge budget deficit, California would have an obscene surplus--taxes would be cut 20 percent;
*Welfare fraud and ID theft would no longer be considered as major crimes in those FBI statistics reports;
*Antonio Villagarosa would be picking avocados in Salinas rather than destroying the once great city of Los Angeles as it's Mayor;
*Both chambers of the US Congress would still be controlled by Republicans, rather than being in the hands of the enemy;
*W.Bush would be forced to learn proper English, rather than relying on illegal aliens to make him sound good by comparison!
*Freeing poor illegal aliens from "Living in the Shadows of American society" would no longer be the rallying cry for millions of Marxist wusses intent on destroying our great nation!
What do you think?
John W. Lillpop
Posted by John W Lillpop at 8:52 PM