Global Warming? Not In SF Bay Area!

By John W. Lillpop

Just who in the hell is kidding who about global warming?

On August 9th, the San Francisco Giants hosted the Chicago Cubs at the AT&T yard in China Basin. At game time, the temperature was a torrid 60 degrees.

Sixty whole degrees on the 9th day of Freaking August, for heavens sake!

Quite a shock from the debilitating heat and humidity that the Giants faced in Atlanta, Georgia over the week end. Conditions there had Giants' broadcasters openly yearning for fog and cold!

Yes, it is true that the weather in the Bay Area is more moderate then elsewhere in America. And yes,weather is the only moderate thing about this liberal-infested community.

Still, 60 degrees is a damn crime.

About two fortnights ago, San Jose experienced our only “heat wave” of the year.

It was hell in paradise as we suffered through four days in which the thermometer scaled to 95 at the top, only to drop like a rock to 60 or 70 degrees at night.

Perfect for sleeping, though, once the sun got the hell out of the way.

Yes, it is true that September is usually our warmest month. However, it is also true that, to date, this is the coolest summer anyone can remember.

After buying a portable AC during the heat wave to keep my bedroom comfortable, I have since resuscitated that heavy blanket from storage in order to fight off the evening and morning chills.

That pitcher I bought for iced tea is for lease or sale; five pounds of free ice included!

Meanwhile, the dim wits at our electric utility company are issuing an urgent message: Electricity rates to skyrocket in September!

How can this be? Its as though that huge chunk of ice that separated from the glacier has landed in downtown San Jose and they want to INCREASE my electric rates?

The official explanation: Sharply reduced usage has led to reduced profits for the energy moguls. A rate increase is needed for balance!

Balance? Like, who in bloody hell needs "balance" ?