President Obama’s Urgent Need for “Reform” School

Satire by John W. Lillpop

With the health care nightmare nearly over, President Obama is moving ahead with his communist agenda for reforming education, immigration, US Senate rules, traditional marriage, financial institutions, US military policy with respect to homosexuals, executive compensation, campaign financing, and last, but hardly least, the system for crowning college football champions.

A terrorist bill of rights is also in the offing, once America has been subdued into remission.

In fact, excepting only the rights and advantages enjoyed by labor unions, left-wing lobbyists, abortionists, ACORN volunteers, the New Black Panther Party, CAIR, La Reza, 40 or so Czars hidden in the bowels of the White House, and his own wretched addiction to smoking, this president plans to reform everything!

If the words change and reform were not available to him, Barack Obama would be mute most of the time.

Given the fact that the president is so smitten with reform, how is it that his education in this area is so woefully inadequate? Having a degree from Yale simply is not good enough for the guerrilla war fare that a true reformer will inevitably face.

Mr. President, its time to go back to school—reform school, that is.

A well rounded curriculum in reform should include the following studies. Approximate times for completion are indicated for your information sir:




REFORM SCHOOL CIRRICULUM
Prepared Especially for President Barack Obama


Year One:

Economic Studies and Exploitation Analysis--Basic arithmetic including addition, subtraction, and programmed calculator malfunction.

Essential for developing cogent arguments to convince skeptics that adding 30 million people to the ranks of the insured will actually cut health care costs and that granting amnesty to 20 million illegal aliens will actually enrich American society and culture while curing the depression.

Can also be used to implement systems for fudge-counting new and or saved jobs without fear of being caught.

Includes a special study entitled “Ending Trillion Dollar-Phobia—A Must for Practicing Liberals in the 21st Century”

Required Commitment:

105 hours a week for twelve full months. All courses taught in Mandarin Chinese. No excused absences allowed.



Year Two:

Overcoming Constitutional Barriers to Reform--Study of the basics of constitutional law including strategies and ploys for quickly implementing reforms that are clearly unconstitutional.

Absolutely essential for enacting meaningful reforms like mandating the purchase of health insurance, ignoring borders and immigration laws in order to increase the base of the Democrat Party, and making the president’s appointment of Czars permanently exempt from both Congressional oversight and investigations by the Department of Justice.

Includes a “starter kit” for delaying and ignoring law suits meant to derail needed reforms through the use of mostly non-violent briefs.


Required Commitment:

105 hours a week for twelve full months. All courses taught in private, Cameras and recorders prohibited. No excused absences allowed.


Year Three:

Using the Power of Reform—an intense review of the materials covered in years one and two with a special focus on bringing America back down to earth through forced communism.


Required Commitment:

105 hours a week through the month of October. Depending on the results of the 2012 elections, may include a special course entitled, “Transitioning Back to Local Politics from the Heady White House Days,” with a special guest lecture by another one term Democrat failure, James Earl Carter.


Graduation Protocol:

If the elections of 2012 turn out as they should, Barack Obama will be given four first-class, one-way bus tickets back to Chicago. And what a great day that will be!

Financial Meltdown a Product of Liberalism Gone Amuck

Satire By John W. Lillpop


Like President Obama and the other 535 clue less scoundrels in Washington, D.C., I have but a foggy understanding of the devastating global meltdown that continues to wreak havoc all across the globe.

Speaking candidly, the entire mess sounds like a corrupt pyramid scheme. Instead of soap, the scam artists were selling and trading mortgage loans and using your 401(k) and pension money to fund their poncey schemes.

When the carnage spreads across the seas, the confusion is multiplied many times.

For example, in 2008 we were told that Iceland was on the brink of bankruptcy. Freaking Iceland, for heavens sake!

Yahoo:

Just how in the hell can a few barefoot hayseeds in North Carolina who blew their tobacco profits on moonshine rather than making their mortgage payments cause a foreign nation to go belly up?

What exactly does my $700,000 starter castle in San Jose--a two bedroom, one bath, 1,000 square foot delight with attached carport--have to do with anything in France? Or Germany?

Next question: Can I decide which country to knock out? I would gladly skip two or three mortgage payments if that would send Iran or North Korea into debtors' hell.

Actually, all of this foolishness is the latest failure resulting from simplistic "progressive" solutions.

This time, liberals decided that having a home is the birthright of all Americans and most illegal aliens as well. Forget about being qualified.

It's the equivalent of affirmative action in housing.

You are breathing, right? And registered to vote Democrat?

That's good enough for liberals like Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd who think that credit screens, down payment requirements, and debt-to-income ratios are the evil tools of racists intent on keeping people of color down and out.

So far, unbridled liberals have left people of color black and blue--and in foreclosure and or bankruptcy.

Do the global community a huge favor and pay your damn mortgage and taxes on times, and vote a straight Republican ticket this November.

It is the "cool" thing for a global citizen to do!

What President Obama Needs to Know About Being an American

By John W. Lillpop

After nearly fourteen months in office, President Obama continues to demonstrate that he does not fully appreciate what it means to be an American.

In fact, his words and deeds reflect a disturbing lack of respect, if not outright contempt, for the basic values, culture, and history that make up this great nation.

The president would do well to educate himself about the following fundamental truths:


* America’s Founding Fathers received divine inspiration in creating the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, and Bill of Rights. The notion that the US Constitution is a “living” document is heresy.

* Our values, laws and culture reflect our Judeo-Christian roots. America is a Christian nation.

* America is not perfect. However, apologizing for American policies and leaders while on foreign soil is unacceptable.

* Americans are passionately proud of our cultural heritage, including self-governance under the rule of law, the English language, free market capitalism, and traditional family values.

* We profoundly disagree with the notion that America is no better than any other nation. America is home to the greatest society in human history---that is no coincidence.

* Government is antithetical to creativity and stifles free expression of the human spirit. Government programs never have, and never will, create jobs, prosperity or happiness.

* Rebelling against government expansion is a basic responsibility of all freedom-loving patriots and is what the first amendment is all about.

* Using government to “spread the wealth” by seizing wealth from one man in order to enrich another is the immoral equivalent of slavery.

* The U.S. Constitution guarantees equal opportunity to all. It does not guarantee a right to health care, a college education, home ownership or any other material advantage.

* Americans abhor being “talked down to”, regardless of how bright or clean and articulate the talker might be.

* Immigrants who come here legally are welcomed with open arms. Those who come illegally are invading criminals and not at all welcome.

* The role of education should be to teach mathematics, language, business and other basics. Using education to indoctrinate youth to liberal ideology is an abuse of power.

* The rights, feelings, and views of heterosexuals should be respected and honored when issues such as gays in the military and gay marriage are considered.

* Americans are naturally skeptical and suspicious of politicians. This is a good thing.

* Change which expands government by infringing on the rights and freedoms of individuals is dangerous and wrong.

The big question: How did a man with values so outside mainstream America win the US Presidency?

The answer: A complicit and biased liberal media!

A Democrat with Sludge in Her Past, Prison in Her Future!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

It was not supposed to turn out this way for Monica Conyers. After all, she was an elected official in Detroit, besides being betrothed to the powerful and influential John Conyers, a long-standing member of Nancy Pelosi’s House of Ill Repute.

People with Mrs. Conyers’ inside connections are not supposed to be held accountable for minor abuses like bribery, especially when such indiscretions occur at the local level.

Nonetheless, there she was in all her splendor and glory being sentenced to 37 months in prison for accepting the paltry sum of $6,000 in cash bribes.

What has this great nation come to when an African-American woman of influence is unable to avoid being treated like any other normal person who has pleaded guilty to a felony?

President Obama was supposed to CHANGE all of that, right? Where the hell was The One when the Conyers needed him so urgently? Off on a health care tangent, no doubt!

As reported at detroitnews.com, in part, (1)

“Detroit --Former Detroit City Councilwoman Monica Conyers was sentenced to 37 months in prison today, but not before controversy and confusion erupted when she announced she wanted to withdraw her guilty plea to bribery.

“In a loud and lengthy tirade that targeted federal prosecutors and the news media, Conyers said the court was trying to make an example of her and sentence her for crimes she did not commit.

"I'm just not going to jail for something I didn't do.”

“An angry Conyers left the courtroom vowing to appeal.

"I'm walking out the front door and I'm appealing this case because he didn't have no right to do that," Conyers said.”

In addition to her double-negative English boo-boo, the fiery Conyers probably made a mistake by declaring that she is not going to jail. That would seem to be out of her corrupt little hands.

However, Mrs. Conyers does strike a responsive cord in one sense: The real enemy of the people is hubby John Conyers. Why not ship him off to prison rather than wasting time on a a washed-up, two bit city council wench?

Oh, did I mention that Monica Conyers is a DEMOCRAT?


(1)From The Detroit News: http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20100310/METRO01/3100413/Monica-Conyers-gets-37-monthsvows-appeal#ixzz0hoTntfro

Can Slapstick Comedy Save America?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

When former comic and bankrupt talk-show host Al Franken was manacled to the U.S. Senate last year, political scholars feared that the most deliberative body in the world would be transformed into a haven for sick jokes and bizarre acting out.

The quiet dignity and reserved demeanor associated with the esteemed title, “US Senator” was, according to pundits, threatened by the unseemly image of Bozo the Clown as protector of the US Constitution, and 300 million or so Americans in the peanut galleries from coast to coast.

As it turns out, Bozo the Clown would be a major upgrade from the cast of characters making news headlines in Washington these days.

Consider these inspiring examples from the kooky, kinky world of progressive mania in Washington:


* While nude, Presidential Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel trolls for votes in the showers of the US Congress;


* Emanuel’s “get out the vote” effort includes a naked man-to-man bout with Rep. Eric Massa, a Democrat accused of groping male staff members;


* Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi urges queasy Democrats to pass ObamaCare, quickly, so that “We can find out what’s in it.”
(And the liberal media considers Sarah Palin an unqualified air head?)


Side shows include the de-gaveling of tax guru Charles Rangel, the public castration of Attorney General Erick Holder for following Obama’s foolish demand for civilian trials of terrorists, and the always popular juggling act performed by VP Joe Biden to enhance the public perception of Special Olympics children.

All of these shenanigans would be hilarious were it not for the fact that progressive policies are so very dangerous and detrimental to the future of America!