Top 10 Reasons Why Liberals Hate Christmas

Satire by John W. Lillpop





Most liberals hate Christmas for the following reasons:



The real messiah was born 1961 years after Christ in a mud hut somewhere in a Kenyan village just a few thousand miles outside of Honolulu;

Christians cannot produce a valid birth certificate for Jesus Christ; therefore, He is not, has never been, and never will be, eligible to serve as president or messiah;

Turning water into wine is nothing compared to Obama’s ability to turn paper (dollar bill) into precious metal (silver dime);

Nativity scenes are offensive because Joseph and Mary were not married;

Singing Christmas carols in public is not protected free speech because none of the founding fathers were exposed to Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, or any other of the violent anti-Muslim lyrics so popular these days;

Biblical accounts concerning the birth of Jesus are clearly flawed because there were not so many as three wise men in all of the Middle East back in those days, and continuing to this day;

Christmas trees are bad for the environment, are a serious violation of separation of Church and state, and piss off both Muslims and Jews;

Tolerance is essential, except when it comes to gap-toothed, Bible thumping red necks who actually believe that a baby Jew was born to a virgin just to save the world;

Children should be protected from Christmas nonsense like Santa Claus and his elves, whereas teaching the young about Obama and his minions in Congress is an essential part of a quality education


There you go: Liberal insanity at it best at Christmas!