Big Easy Survives Gustav to Chagrin of Liberals

By John W. Lillpop

With gleeful liberals and mainstream media vultures conjoined in readiness to celebrate the devastation of Hurricane Gustav as yet another legacy item in failed Republican governance, Mother Nature double-crossed the blood thirsty bleeding hearts by leaving New Orleans mostly intact.

By demoting Gustav to a Category 2 storm from the expected 5, Mother Nature rained on Labor Day festivities for leftists eagerly anticipating the sight of thousands of poor black folk abandoned in filthy flood waters and fighting for their very lives.

Instead of producing the expected "bump" for the Anointed One, urgently needed in light of his failure to make a difference with all that CHANGE double talk in Denver, Gustav kicked Big Easy in the groin with fierce winds and vile amounts of rain, but failed to deliver the loss of life and property that the left was desperately preying (spelling correct) for.

After all, a re-run of Katrina-like carnage held great promise for liberals as they schemed and connived to convert human misery into Democrat votes come November 4.

Without the loss of black lives and property to cheer them on, many liberals spent the long weekend wishing for additional home foreclosures, bank failures, and earthquakes, as well as sustained Category 5 strength from storms Helena, Ike and others still brewing in the Atlantic.

Notwithstanding liberal supplications for more human sacrifice as a means for getting out the vote, more awful news came their way, destroying what remained of the Holiday Spirit.

That is so because the once violence- riddled province of Anbar in Iraq was turned over to Iraqi forces, thanks to due diligence exercised by the Bush administration.

In announcing this tragic news (for Democrats), President Bush said, "Iraqi forces will now take the lead in security operations in Anbar, with American troops moving into an overwatch role," in a statement released by the White House.

Wasn't it Harry Reid who declared the war "lost" just a few short months ago? And wasn't it Barack Obama who voted against the surge, and who still refuses to admit that he was wrong?

Still, liberals scrounging about for morsels of human agony to trumpet imagined they had hit the jackpot when it was announced that Bristol Palin, daughter of VP nominee Sarah Palin, is with child, even though Bristol is but seventeen and unmarried.

However, more bad news looms for liberals, because that unborn fetus will not be discarded like so much unwanted animal waste as would be the case were the mother-to-be a liberal advocate of infanticide.

Yes, the young Palin girl had pre-marital sex, and yes that was a mistake.

But at least the Palin family will not murder the innocent, precious human life for the transgressions of the mother.

That truth will become obvious to caring Americans, and will ultimately be to the glory of the Palin family and their unwavering reverence for the sanctity of all human life.

Hillary Is a B**** Because...

By John W. Lillpop

Some narrow-minded women will howl with outrage when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a b****, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, misogynist conspiracy to deny Hillary her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the b**** the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a b**** because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owes her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a b**** because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a b**** because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a b**** because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while ignoring the wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a b**** because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a b**** because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a b**** because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a b**** because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a b**** because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a b**** because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their years in the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a b**** because of her rigid intolerance, dishonesty, and wrong headed liberalism!

McCain Eschews Old White Guys, Embraces REAL Change!

By John W. Lillpop

John McCain's announcement concerning Sarah Palin as his running mate has sent Team Obama and the mainstream media into comatose shock, a malady from which they may not fully recover until well after November 4.

Those who delight in gloating while watching liberals eat crow are hoping that Democrats and the media recover in time to witness the McCain swearing in ceremony on January 20, 2009.

McCain's brilliant counter punch to Obamamania pits a beautiful 40-something woman of integrity, intelligence, and warmth against a balding "old school" white guy with plagiarism as his only certifiable talent.

Guess who best represents positive change in the upcoming election?

Hint: It is not that US Senator from Delaware who has been on the public dole for 35 years, and who happens to be the poster child for the status quo.

Rather, it is a young, bright female Governor who brings freshness and innocence to the fray at a time when most Americans are fed up with phony Messiahs and other creations of the liberal media who promise change, but who deliver only tired old rhetoric and simplistic double talk.

Sarah Palin's ascension to national prominence
should be terrific news to disillusioned Hillary fans looking for a female-friendly candidate to vote for!

Behold, rejected Clintonistas everywhere:

John McCain and Sarah Palin represent real change and real hope for women!

Flip-Flopping on Change!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

If flip flopping were an Olympic event, Barack Obama would have won enough gold medals to buy all of those missing McCain mansions outright, and still have sufficient scratch left to treat Oprah Winfrey to lunch.

By naming Joe Biden as his running mate, the Anointed One has set an all-time world record for prevarication, said record subject to being superseded by Obama himself, at any time, without advance warning.

Oddly enough, this fellow was supposed to be all about CHANGE, CHANGE, and still more CHANGE, remember?

To date, the only CHANGE that Obama has consistently brought to the table is an all- too- frequent change of his bloody mind on vital issues of the day!

Nominating Joe Biden for the vice presidency to run under the banner of CHANGE is another stunning example of Obama's inexperience, lack of commitment to anything except acquisition of raw power, and world class flip- flop skills.

Good grief, with 35 years under his belt in the US Senate, Senator Joseph Biden is the quintessential Washington insider. If ever there was a poster child for the anti-change status quo, it would be the senior senator from Delaware!

More Proof: Democrat Joe Biden has not changed his hairpiece in 20 years!

Oh, and by the way, Joe Biden will be 66 in October.

Which means that Biden is darn near as old as John McCain and is a smidgen older than Hillary Clinton is.

According to ageist hate speech used by Team Obama against both McCain and Hillary, they are "old school" fogies," out of touch with any American who can still walk about on his or her own, and for whom sex is more important than comfortable dentures and a clean bed pan.

Fathoming why Biden's 66 trumps McCain's 72, or Hillary's 61, when it comes to being in sync with younger voters is beyond this writer's pay grade. As such, it is best left for historians to sort out in the decades to follow.

Biden has other shortcomings, including the fact that he is an angry white male and an attorney.

Which begs the following question: Can the American electorate, starved as it is for CHANGE, be placated by placing an old, angry white male with a law degree just a heart beat away from the presidency?

Still, this is Obama's show, and there ARE positive qualities that Biden brings to the ticket:

First and foremost, Joseph Biden is NOT Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In and of itself, that is enough to endear Biden to millions of voters who would like to keep the White House "b**** free," for at least four more years.

Next, Biden has a unique capacity for sticking his foot into his mouth with inappropriate, politically incorrect, and or incendiary remarks.

If fact, if sticking your foot in your mouth was an Olympic event, Joe Biden would have nearly as much gold to his credit as Obama, flip-flopping champ of all time.

How might Biden's non-stop adventures in a quagmire of faux pas benefit the ticket?

Elementary, really: It will keep snoopy news reporters pre-occupied with chasing down the latest "Biden Eruption."

Thus, the media will be too busy to delve into Obama's Jihadist past, involvement with sleazy underground characters, or his relationship with his half-brother, left to wilt in abject poverty in Kenya.

Some might ask, "But, what about Biden's despicable dabbling in plagiarism?"

Friends, this is what makes the Obama-Biden bonding so special:

Barack Obama has never written anything worth stealing, so all his jottings would be perfectly safe, even with Joseph Biden free to roam the White House!



jwl
8-24

With All Those Homes, Perhaps McCain Should Rescue Obama's Brother?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

John McCain continues to be pummeled hither and yonder for marrying a woman smarter and more successful that himself,
a charge that has never been leveled against Barack Hussein Obama.

Funny that.

A real stinker, this latest kerfuffel, as it shows the big bad Republican McCain so out of touch with average Americans that he has lost track of his (wife's!) mansions.

So, while millions of Americans face the loss of their homes through foreclosure, the McCain real estate empire cannot even remember how many estates they have title to.

Double shame on America, especially those with the audacity of success!

Just as news concerning McCain's inability to count to seven was being parlayed into accusations of racism, elitism, and old age dementia by Team Obama, the news wires became flooded with stink about this Obama character himself.

Seems as though America's favorite black, Jihad, Marxist has a half-brother (does that make the dude a half-sister, ergo a bisexual?) who lives in Kenya on wages approximating $1.00 a month.

Just for perspective that is equal to one hundred US pennies every 30 days, before taxes, of course.

The half-brother should thank God or Allah, as the case may be, that Obama is not running for public office in Kenya, because 50 percent or more of those 100 pennies might be stolen by Obama's "progressive" tax plan should the Anointed One prevail.

Sadly for America, but fortunately for the impoverished brother, Kenya is too black for Obama, who still fosters this fairy tale about living in a White House in a very black neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Given the fact that Barack Obama has turned his Marxist back on his poor brother, John McCain has been given a golden opporunity to do the magnanimous thing.

Specifically, John McCain should "pull an Oprah" by announcing that Obama's better half brother will be flown to the States, at McCain's expense, and housed in one of those seven mansions that the aging senator has misplaced. Free of charge!

Can you see the headlines?

Compassionate Conservatism Breaking News: John McCain Rescues Obama's Brother!

That should play havoc with the polls, say what?