Hillary Is a B**** Because...

By John W. Lillpop

Some narrow-minded women will howl with outrage when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a b****, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, misogynist conspiracy to deny Hillary her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the b**** the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a b**** because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owes her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a b**** because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a b**** because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a b**** because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while ignoring the wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a b**** because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a b**** because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a b**** because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a b**** because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a b**** because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a b**** because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their years in the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a b**** because of her rigid intolerance, dishonesty, and wrong headed liberalism!

McCain Eschews Old White Guys, Embraces REAL Change!

By John W. Lillpop

John McCain's announcement concerning Sarah Palin as his running mate has sent Team Obama and the mainstream media into comatose shock, a malady from which they may not fully recover until well after November 4.

Those who delight in gloating while watching liberals eat crow are hoping that Democrats and the media recover in time to witness the McCain swearing in ceremony on January 20, 2009.

McCain's brilliant counter punch to Obamamania pits a beautiful 40-something woman of integrity, intelligence, and warmth against a balding "old school" white guy with plagiarism as his only certifiable talent.

Guess who best represents positive change in the upcoming election?

Hint: It is not that US Senator from Delaware who has been on the public dole for 35 years, and who happens to be the poster child for the status quo.

Rather, it is a young, bright female Governor who brings freshness and innocence to the fray at a time when most Americans are fed up with phony Messiahs and other creations of the liberal media who promise change, but who deliver only tired old rhetoric and simplistic double talk.

Sarah Palin's ascension to national prominence
should be terrific news to disillusioned Hillary fans looking for a female-friendly candidate to vote for!

Behold, rejected Clintonistas everywhere:

John McCain and Sarah Palin represent real change and real hope for women!

Flip-Flopping on Change!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

If flip flopping were an Olympic event, Barack Obama would have won enough gold medals to buy all of those missing McCain mansions outright, and still have sufficient scratch left to treat Oprah Winfrey to lunch.

By naming Joe Biden as his running mate, the Anointed One has set an all-time world record for prevarication, said record subject to being superseded by Obama himself, at any time, without advance warning.

Oddly enough, this fellow was supposed to be all about CHANGE, CHANGE, and still more CHANGE, remember?

To date, the only CHANGE that Obama has consistently brought to the table is an all- too- frequent change of his bloody mind on vital issues of the day!

Nominating Joe Biden for the vice presidency to run under the banner of CHANGE is another stunning example of Obama's inexperience, lack of commitment to anything except acquisition of raw power, and world class flip- flop skills.

Good grief, with 35 years under his belt in the US Senate, Senator Joseph Biden is the quintessential Washington insider. If ever there was a poster child for the anti-change status quo, it would be the senior senator from Delaware!

More Proof: Democrat Joe Biden has not changed his hairpiece in 20 years!

Oh, and by the way, Joe Biden will be 66 in October.

Which means that Biden is darn near as old as John McCain and is a smidgen older than Hillary Clinton is.

According to ageist hate speech used by Team Obama against both McCain and Hillary, they are "old school" fogies," out of touch with any American who can still walk about on his or her own, and for whom sex is more important than comfortable dentures and a clean bed pan.

Fathoming why Biden's 66 trumps McCain's 72, or Hillary's 61, when it comes to being in sync with younger voters is beyond this writer's pay grade. As such, it is best left for historians to sort out in the decades to follow.

Biden has other shortcomings, including the fact that he is an angry white male and an attorney.

Which begs the following question: Can the American electorate, starved as it is for CHANGE, be placated by placing an old, angry white male with a law degree just a heart beat away from the presidency?

Still, this is Obama's show, and there ARE positive qualities that Biden brings to the ticket:

First and foremost, Joseph Biden is NOT Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In and of itself, that is enough to endear Biden to millions of voters who would like to keep the White House "b**** free," for at least four more years.

Next, Biden has a unique capacity for sticking his foot into his mouth with inappropriate, politically incorrect, and or incendiary remarks.

If fact, if sticking your foot in your mouth was an Olympic event, Joe Biden would have nearly as much gold to his credit as Obama, flip-flopping champ of all time.

How might Biden's non-stop adventures in a quagmire of faux pas benefit the ticket?

Elementary, really: It will keep snoopy news reporters pre-occupied with chasing down the latest "Biden Eruption."

Thus, the media will be too busy to delve into Obama's Jihadist past, involvement with sleazy underground characters, or his relationship with his half-brother, left to wilt in abject poverty in Kenya.

Some might ask, "But, what about Biden's despicable dabbling in plagiarism?"

Friends, this is what makes the Obama-Biden bonding so special:

Barack Obama has never written anything worth stealing, so all his jottings would be perfectly safe, even with Joseph Biden free to roam the White House!



jwl
8-24

With All Those Homes, Perhaps McCain Should Rescue Obama's Brother?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

John McCain continues to be pummeled hither and yonder for marrying a woman smarter and more successful that himself,
a charge that has never been leveled against Barack Hussein Obama.

Funny that.

A real stinker, this latest kerfuffel, as it shows the big bad Republican McCain so out of touch with average Americans that he has lost track of his (wife's!) mansions.

So, while millions of Americans face the loss of their homes through foreclosure, the McCain real estate empire cannot even remember how many estates they have title to.

Double shame on America, especially those with the audacity of success!

Just as news concerning McCain's inability to count to seven was being parlayed into accusations of racism, elitism, and old age dementia by Team Obama, the news wires became flooded with stink about this Obama character himself.

Seems as though America's favorite black, Jihad, Marxist has a half-brother (does that make the dude a half-sister, ergo a bisexual?) who lives in Kenya on wages approximating $1.00 a month.

Just for perspective that is equal to one hundred US pennies every 30 days, before taxes, of course.

The half-brother should thank God or Allah, as the case may be, that Obama is not running for public office in Kenya, because 50 percent or more of those 100 pennies might be stolen by Obama's "progressive" tax plan should the Anointed One prevail.

Sadly for America, but fortunately for the impoverished brother, Kenya is too black for Obama, who still fosters this fairy tale about living in a White House in a very black neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Given the fact that Barack Obama has turned his Marxist back on his poor brother, John McCain has been given a golden opporunity to do the magnanimous thing.

Specifically, John McCain should "pull an Oprah" by announcing that Obama's better half brother will be flown to the States, at McCain's expense, and housed in one of those seven mansions that the aging senator has misplaced. Free of charge!

Can you see the headlines?

Compassionate Conservatism Breaking News: John McCain Rescues Obama's Brother!

That should play havoc with the polls, say what?

Fighting Food Fetish, Medical Fraud, and the Fat Fairy

By John W. Lillpop

Unlike most red-necked conservative intellectuals living in the Bay Area, I have never found it particularly difficult to "watch" my weight.

With a size 50 waist, three or more double chins, and a neck size scarcely below triple digits, how in Hades can I NOT watch my weight?

After years of battling neurotic doctors, "ideal weight" charts pushed by corporate interests intent on earning windfall profits from a man-made pandemic of expensive-to-treat anexoria, and scales that lie without shame, I have finally surrendered.

Effective immediately, in the best interests of my fragile sanity, I will no longer weight myself, or allow myself to be weighed.

Period, end of discussion.

Consider the relevant facts, please.

Weighing one's self can lead to depression, anxiety, and fat. In fact, politicians could do the public far more good by outlawing scales instead of worrying about Trans-fats, cholesterol, salt, carbohydrates, and other innocuous items in the diet of all normal Americans.

Think about the mental games one plays when engaged in the Fit or Fat numbers game:

On the odd occasion when the scale actually shows a weight loss, one's food -addicted brain immediately sends a crazy message to one's stomach that goes something like this:

"Bravo! and Sayonara to being fat. This is cause for celebration, so bring on a few five-pound boxes of fudge and as much buttered popcorn as can be stuffed into the family min-van and a U-Haul trailer!"

If, on the other hand, the scale reveals a weight gain, one's scheming brain sends the following distorted message to one's weight management center:

"Idiot! Just as we warned you, it is hopeless and a complete waste of time to even try to lose weight! To hell with celery sticks and water.

"Bring on a dozen BBQed short ribs, three pounds of mashed potatoes smothered in real butter, and any fudge and popcorn not consumed this morning when you celebrated that short-lived weight loss!"

And so it is in the wild and wacky world of weight management, or mismanagement to be more precise.

America's Colors: Gold, Wrapped in Red, White, and Blue!

By John W. Lillpop

In a magnificent tribute to the superiority of American culture, language, and food, Michael Phelps has once again rewritten history by earning his unprecedented eighth Olympic gold medal of the 2008 Olympics.

Bravo to the young man in red, white, and blue who may have to move to Fort Knox, Kentucky for security reasons, so much gold has he acquired.

Phelps' timing is particularly excellent, coming as it does just as the Democrat Party is about to nominate an America-hating Marxist with Jihadist tendencies in the personage of Barack Obama to be 44th president of the United States.

Each and every American citizen who truly loves America will join in the celebration of Michael Phelps, while praying for the political demise of Barack Hussein Obama.

For the full story of Michael Phelps and his conquest of the world, see the link below.

God Bless America and Michael Phelps!

Source:

Barry Needs to Watch His Backside Around Hillary!

Satire, Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

Although I emphatically believe that Barack Hussein Obama (Barry) is the least qualified, most anti-American candidate ever to get this far in a legitimate challenge for the US presidency, I would hate to see the man fall victim to the evil Clintonistas in Denver two weeks hence.

Team Obama seems to have been lulled into a false sense of trust this week as they agreed to let Hillary's name be placed in nomination. They erred again by agreeing to let Slick Willie address the convention, a most unfortunate indicator of the moral depravity which has overwhelmed the Democrat Party.

To be perfectly honest, Bill Clinton should be in perjurer's recovery and, once graduated therefrom, should be arrested and forced into an involuntary stint at a home for sexual predators/recovering liars.

All in all, Slick should be confined until he reaches his 70th birthday, or until Hillary abandons his sorry self in favor of a real black man.

Those options make more sense than foisting this salty old bird on the American people eight years after we got rid of he and his kleptomaniac spouse, who is, this very day, selling White House china and foot stools in order to retire her campaign debt!

Amazing, is it not Hillary, how the flow of money dries up once the likes of Norman Hsu are no longer around to extort money and commit fraud on your behalf?

Thank the Lord for fraud opportunities in the book writing racket, a corrupt industry that has rewarded both Hillary and Slick Willie handsomely for lying non-stop across two hundred plus pages of double-spaced malarkey.

But back to the black prophet (profit?), the Hildabeast, and the convention in Denver, also known as the Looming Freak Show!

Again, everyone knows that the Messiah is a genius and incapable of making a mistake. Still, in my humble view, Barack Obama needs to keep a very careful eye out for Hillary and Slick during the convention.

Remember two things, Barry:

1. Hillary has warned America and the world, and especially you, that she was obligated to continue her battle for the Oval Office just in case something awful like, perish the thought, an untimely assassination should occur.

Please understand that we would never suggest that Hillary might resort to extreme measures like murder, just to claw her way back into the White House.

Still, there are several unanswered questions about Vince Foster and other Clinton associates who have left this dimension under very eerie circumstances.

To be on the safe side, do not turn your back to Hillary, and do not go out to tilt a few cold ones with Slick Willie.

Instead, stick with the likes of Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, but be sure to always wear a heavy duty athletic cup when hanging with those dark dudes. Hide all knives and cutting scissors just to be safe.

2. In conjunction with the above, remember that Hillary has only "suspended" her campaign, she has not yet folded her tent.

How long do you suppose it would take the Clinton team to renovate and re-roll out the "Hillary for President in 2008!" campaign upon learning of a tragic event that would render the Anointed One unavailable?

Educated guess: Hillary could have fired-up volunteers on the ground in all fifty states in less time than it would take to explain the difference between Georgia the nation and Georgia the American state to Barry!

Again, Barry Needs to Watch His Backside Around Hillary in Denver!

Book Exposes Obama, Leaps to # 1 On NYT Best Seller List!

Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

After 18 months in which the liberal mainstream media have pre-ordained Barack Obama as the inevitable 44th president of the United States and Messiah rolled into one, a glimmer of truth is emerging, just in time for the November elections.

In much the same manner as leftist John Kerry was exposed and Swiftboated in 2004, so it is that a new hero and protector of the American way has emerged to take over the 2008 election.

That would be Dr. Jerome R. Corsi who deserves profound kudos and props for his patriotic, pro-American work titled, The Obama Nation.

Dr. Corsi's masterpiece is a blessing to voters because it exposes the bad and the ugly (there is no good) in the Barack Obama act, which has hoodwinked far too many otherwise intelligent voters to date.

The great news is that The Obama Nation sits alone in the number 1 spot on the New York Times Best Seller list!

The astounding success of The Obama Nation stands in stark contrast to the leftist drivel set forth in Nancy Pelosi's nauseating dilly titled, "Know Your Power: A Message To America's Daughters," a dismal work that no daughter should have to read, and judging by the lack of sales, none will.

All of which proves two basic facts about America: Truth will out! and mediocrity sucks!



JWL
8-15

Partial Justice in Texas: Jose Medellin Chokes on 'Virgin Blood'

By John W. Lillpop

Fifteen years ago, Jose Medellin participated in the murder and rape of Jennifer Lee Ertman, 14, and Elizabeth Pena, 16.

A story in the Dallas News describes the carnage as follows:

"It was the start of a savage hourlong attack by Medellin, then 18, and five fellow gang members, who raped the girls and forced them to perform sex acts before beating then strangling them with a belt and shoelaces. It would be four days before their bodies, decomposing in the Houston heat, were found. By then Medellin already had boasted to friends about having 'virgin's blood' on his underpants."

Fifteen years later, the great state of Texas extracted a partial measure of justice from the sub-human illegal alien. The good news was reported by the Houston Chronicle with these words:

"Medellin was pronounced dead at 9:57 p.m., nine minutes after the lethal dose was administered." (Texas is on Central time.)

No doubt, the death certificate will list ''lethal injection' as the official cause of Medellin's death. It could just as easily read, "Choked on Virgin Blood," in reference to the jocular celebration that came back to haunt Medellin late in the day on August 5, 2008.

Many people who normally support the death penalty were opposed this time because of the supposed violation of international treaties and the potential future harm that could be visited upon Americans incinerated in foreign lands.

That argument is surely of great merit in learned legal circles, but any American who has committed the types of heinous crimes attributed to Medellin does not, in my view, deserve a great deal of sympathy.

Simply being an American does not justify behavior ordained by Satan.

Politically, the liberal media and politicians will abandon all common sense in rushing to the defense of the departed killer, while forgetting the grotesque end he gleefully brought to Jennifer Lee Ertman and Elizabeth Pena.

A strong message must be delivered to those who moan when justice wins the day:

Forget about wringing your hypocritical hands in angst over the likes of Jose Medellin! Instead, join forces with reasonable Americans to prevent thugs like Medellin and Edwin Ramos (San Francisco sanctuary city killer) from invading this nation to begin with!