Satire by John W. Lillpop
Who would have imagined that Barack Obama, America’s Nobel Peace Prize winner and alleged peace monger, would turn out to be a brutal killer of Islamic bad eggs?
After all, until recently Obama insisted that simple-minded blabbing with our enemies, AKA, diplomacy, would eliminate the need for dumb wars and violent killings.
Yet in the most dramatic transformation of his persona to date, The One has gone from Wimp-in-Chief to Barack Hussein Obama, The Assassin.
Which proves just how devastating approval ratings in the 30s can be to a non-messiah figure facing reelection!
The president’s new image started with the messy removal of Osama bin Laden back on May 1 when Navy Seals invaded bin Laden’s ‘luxury’ digs in Pakistan, chased down the world’s most wanted terrorist, and then proceeded to blast the head of the 6’11” freak into a bloody substance akin to that of pizza topping.
The president’s “Don’t Mess With Obama” toughness continued when Obama ordered what was left of UBL to be dumped into the Red Sea, without last rites or a proper Christian burial.
Even more shockingly, it is also alleged that Obama ordered Navy Seals to send bin Laden to Allah, and into the tender-loving-care of 72 anxious virgins, without first reading the brutal killer his Miranda Rights, a real no-no to nut balls like Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich.
Two days ago, Obama enhanced his growing image as The No BS Assassin by ordering predator drones to send Al-Quaeda chief Anwar al-Awlaki to the next life.
With all the modesty one would expect from a seriously addicted narcissist, Obama hailed the demise of Anwar al-Awlaki as a significant blow to the evil posed by Al-Quaeda.
So, what’s next for The Assassin?
White House insiders, speaking on strict conditions of anonymity, claim that Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and North Korea’s Kim Young Ill may both face time rocky times ahead, especially if the U.S. unemployment rate does not fall dramatically-- and soon!
