Satire by John W. Lillpop
A hat tip to Doug Patton of the Canada Free Press for his outstanding “Can We Trade Barack for Bibi?” offer, see reference 1.
While Mr. Patton is certainly thinking outside the box and in the best interests of America, I fear that the Israelis may not nibble at the bait.
They ARE Jews after all, which means they are seldom cheated or outsmarted when it comes to trade or barter.
To head off an inevitable rejection, I would like to add a few concessions to the pot so as to entice Israel toward making a deal.
My terms:
In addition to Barack, America agrees to the unconditional transfer of Senators Schumer, Boxer, Feinstein, Reid, Kerry, Graham (R-SC), Murray, and Durbin to the Israeli government.
Further, America accepts full responsibility for any and all pensions, salaries, bribes, and corruption fees, including criminal attorney charges, as may be owed by said senators.
In order to facilitate peace in the middle-east, America further agrees to grant that mythical entity known as Palestine the following sovereign U.S. States in a historic “Land for Peace” deal:
California, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and all other blue states where the number of citizens identifying themselves as “liberal” exceeds ten percent of the total population.
This “Land for Peace” accord indemnifies the American government from any and all disputes between the Palestinians and illegal invaders from south of our borders. All such disputes shall be resolved by the disputing parties using whatever legal, financial, and language resources at their disposal.
This Agreement is NOT subject to any Signing Statement, Executive Order, or other foolish device for circumventing the U.S. Constitution.
Most importantly, this accord shall include a specific “NO Right of Return” provision.
There you have it. The amended offer to the good people of Israel and their tormentors in Palestine for the exchange of land and politicians that should bring long-sought peace to the region.
What say you, Israel. Palestinians? Deal?
Reference: http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/36786
As to That Proposed Barack-for-Bibi Swap: We Must Sweeten Offer!
